


You Can't Take the Stars From Me

by HuntersMoon47



Series: Wait For Me To Come Home [8]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-06-15 00:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersMoon47/pseuds/HuntersMoon47
Summary: Shepard tells Garrus what happened when she died





	1. Garrus

_ The planet was a red wasteland. The heat was oppressive. Garrus’ heart still raced from Shepard’s driving. That woman was going to be the death of him, one way or another. He turned to look at his commanding officer, who now lay flat on her back, arms and legs spread out, staring up at the sky.  _

_ “Shepard, what are you doing?” He asked.  _

_ “Looking at the stars,” she said, not looking at him. “As much time as we spend among them, I never get to see them. No windows on the ship; too many lights on the Citadel; too busy on missions.” _

_ “We are on a mission now, Commander,” Alenko said, serious, as usual. Shepard just laughed and patted the ground with her hands.  _

_ “Relax, Kaidan,” she said. “Lay down. Smell the roses!” _

_ “What?” Garrus asked, looking between the two humans. He often went on missions with the two - he and Kaidan seemed to be Shepard’s favored team. But he still didn’t understand a lot of what they said.  _

_ “It’s a human saying,” Shepard explained. “‘Stop and smell the roses.’ It means ‘take a break and enjoy the world around you.’ Come on, lay down, Alenko. Enjoy the stars.” _

_ “I’m not lying down on a scorched planet in the middle of a mission, Shepard.” _

_ “Spoilsport.” Shepard looked at Garrus. “Vakarian?” _

_ “Only if you let me drive for the rest of the mission,” he negotiated. That earned him a laugh.  _

_ “Deal,” she said. Garrus could picture her smile even though her breather helmet hid her face. He shook his head as he lowered himself down to the ground. It took a few minutes to settle down and when he did, he chuckled. Shepard was right - it was incredible.  _

_ It was hot but the sun was on the other side of the planet. The lack of vegetation and civilization left an entirely unobstructed view of the stars. It was...breathtaking. He must have let out a breath or the rumble in his subvocals was louder than he thought because Shepard nudged him.  _

_ “Pretty great, huh?” She asked.  _

_ “Yeah,” Garrus agreed.  _

_ “I love the stars,” Shepard spoke quietly. “One summer when I was a kid - eleven or twelve - I got pinched for stealing some alcohol and got sent to a juvenile detention facility. It was out in the country and it sucked. But, I got to see the stars, really see them, for the first time. I knew then I wanted to be among the stars someday. When Anderson found me, offered me a place in the Alliance, I didn’t even have to think about it. It was my chance to be in the stars.” _

_________

 

Garrus rolled his shoulders and sighed. Hours of calibrating the guns and he still wasn’t satisfied and he’d be damned if the guns didn’t operate at highest capacity. The Normandy had to be able to defend itself. Not like last time. Not like when Shepard had been lost.

With another sigh, he stepped off the lift and headed for the bar. Unfortunately, Kasumi was asleep on the couch, so Garrus grabbed a bottle of Turian whiskey and headed for the other observation deck. He needed some solitude and several drinks. But when the door slid open the room wasn’t empty. 

Shepard stood, her back to him, facing the open window. Her feet were set in a wide stance, arms at her sides, fists clenched. She didn’t flinch when the door slid open, which meant she either knew it was him or she was so focused she hadn’t heard. From the way she was standing, the tension in her neck and shoulders, she was focused on something. 

Focused on fighting; he realized. Fighting her fear of the stars. He thought about leaving her alone. Sometimes Danica preferred to be on her own when she struggled with these things. But then he saw her unclenched her fist; saw how bad her hand trembled at her side and he couldn’t bring himself to leave her. 

“Shepard?” He kept his voice low and smooth so he didn’t startle her, but she didn’t seem to hear him. Garrus waited for a few moments, before setting his whiskey down and trying again. “Danica?”

Her first name still felt foreign on his tongue. He wasn’t really sure when he’d started using it. Like so many things about their relationships over the last several months, it had come on slowly. Her concentration broke. He watched the tension seep out of her neck and shoulders; heard her let out a long breath. He took a few steps closer until he could reach out and touch her, but he held back. 

“You okay?” He asked. 

“I used to love the stars,” she whispered. “They took that from me too. Every time I see them, all I can think about is…”

Her breath caught and Garrus saw her shiver. Instinctively, he took another step forward. He stood right behind her, just like he had on Horizon, just like he had so many times before. And just like she always did, Shepard shifted back towards him, seeking him out. They were almost touching and Garrus had to fight to focus on what Shepard needed right now, rather than what he wanted. 

“When I first got back on the Normandy and was drinking all the time, mourning my team, what did you tell me?” He’d been a wreck - depressed, his face in pain and he’d drowned himself. Until he’d almost fucked up a mission and Shepard had set him straight. 

“You mean after I kicked your ass?” She asked and Garrus was relieved to hear some humor in her voice. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled and then grew serious. “You told me to talk about it, to share the burden, and it wouldn’t have a hold on me anymore. You told me to find someone I trusted to share the burden with, and it’d be easier to breathe again.”

“You chose me,” she whispered. 

“There isn’t anyone I trust more,” he said. Shepard didn’t say anything for a few moments. 

“Did it work?”

“For the most part.” He wouldn’t lie to her. Not ever. “It comes back sometimes, usually when I least expect it. Catches me off guard. But it doesn’t have the same hold on me. I know, if I need, I can come to you and that helps.”

Again, she was silent for several long moments. Then she took a long, shuddering breath and pressed herself back into him. Garrus had a moment to wish he were in civies so he could feel her better, but then Shepard began talking. 

“I knew I was done as soon as I shut the pod door behind Joker.” Her voice was quiet and small. Weaker than Garrus had ever heard her and he hated it. “The ship was torn up, fires burning everywhere. Even if there was a pod left, there was no way I was getting to it and I was just...angry. I was so pissed off that those fuckers got me. I knew it was the Reapers - or a Reaper connection. I wasn’t scared, not even when I got pushed out into space. I was just….annoyed. 

Garrus chuckled. Only Danica Shepard would get mad on the precipice of death. 

“And then something hit me from behind.” Her breath caught and he felt her shaking against him again. “I heard the hissing before I felt it. The….vacuum. The crew must have seen from the pods because all the sudden, I could hear them calling for me. Joker, Kaidan, Liara, Tali - all of them screaming. I tried….I tried to hold the hoses together but...I never...I’ve never been so scared in my life, Garrus. I was so scared and I could only think of two things. I made sure I stayed quiet because if I could hear the crew, they could hear me. I didn’t want them to hear me die.

“And the second thing, the last thought I remember having before I woke up two years later, was wishing I hadn’t sent you to Spectre training. Because of all the voices I could hear, yours was the one I wanted most.”

Garrus felt the low rumble escape him. He threw aside what little protocol remaining between him and his CO, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her tight against him. Shepard reached up and grasped the arms wrapped around her. Neither one of them said anything for a long time. 

“Shepard, I…” Garrus eventually broke their silence, needing to tell her; to try to explain. “When you were gone, I was...lost. I hadn’t realized until then…”

His voice faded, words failing him. He was awful at this and he felt like a fool. She’d just bared her soul and he didn’t have the courage to do the same. To tell her he loved her. 

“I know,” Shepard whispered, patting his arm. “I didn’t either. And then, I found you on Omega…”

Silence hung once more, and again Garrus was the one to break it, stumbling, fumbling but trying to understand what was going on. 

“What….” he started. “I….”  
Spirits, take him, he could not get the words out to save his life. He closed his eye and tried to calm his pounding heart so he could try again but Shepard turned in his arms. Instead of his heart slowing it raced faster. Shepard tipped her head back so she could look at him. She was so close he could feel her breath on his face when she spoke. 

“It’s more than blowing off steam for me, Garrus,” she whispered. “You?”

Garrus held her gaze while he nodded slowly. 

“Yeah,” he rumbled, his arms tightening around her. Shepard didn’t say anything for several long moments, her eyes flickering over his face. And then she stood up on her tiptoes and slowly, tentatively pressed her lips to his mouth. 

Garrus knew how humans kissed; had always found it odd. Until Shepard’s warm lips were pressed against his mouth. He lost himself in the feel and scent of her, losing track of time, running his fingers through her hair. It was soft and silky. Not like he’d expected. Shepard grasped his waist and pleasure rolled over him. He could feel his plates shifting. They had to stop or he was going to lose control. With a shuddering breath, he pulled away leaving her breathless. 

He fought to bring his breathing under control while Shepard leaned her forehead against his chest and pressed her body into his. 

“You sure you want to wait?” She whispered. 

“No,” Garrus admitted. Shepard chuckled. “But it’s best. We’re heading for the Hawking Eta system next week; wrapping up the rest of our business in the next few days. We need to be focused, and I for one, will not be able to focus on anything but you if we don’t wait.”

Shepard tipped her head back and laughed, her shining blue eyes meeting his. 

“All right, Big Guy,” she said softly. “We do it your way. For now.” 


	2. Danica

She should have known better than to take the whole team with her; should have known better than leaving the Normandy without a decent defense. They were too close to the Collectors. She should have foreseen an attack; planned for one.

“Blaming yourself isn’t going to get there any faster,” Zaeed commented from where he lounged in the seat. Shepard almost unhooked her pistol and threw it at him for lack of anything else to toss, but Tali caught her arm. She and Garrus flanked Danica, who stood in front of the airlock, her knees twitching anxiously. Everyone else was crowded into the shuttle behind her, silent and still, listening to the feed EDI had patched through over their coms.

“I am not made for crawling through shafts, EDI.” Joker’s voice cracked through the radio. He was trying to sound irritated but Danica could hear the panic in his voice. She clenched her jaw.

“Hostiles are present in engineering,” EDI said a few moments later. “They are heading towards the cargo bay.”

“Fuck,” Danica breathed. Joker was running through hostiles. He probably hadn’t even grabbed his gun. She should never have left him alone.

“I’m here,” Joker said.

“Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed.”

“No!” Danica said as if EDI could hear her. But the coms were working just one way.

“What?” Joker asked, the same thought clearly going through his mind. “What about the crew?”

“They are gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them.”

Danica swayed on her feet when EDI’s words sank in. She felt like she’d been punched in the chest. Several whispered curses were muttered behind her. This was her fault; all her fault. She’d left them alone and they’d been taken.

“This is not your fault.” Garrus’ voice in her ear came through a private channel. He stepped up behind her, offering his silent support as he so often did. Danica didn’t care now if the whole team saw, she pressed herself back into him. She pulled up her omni-tool and switched to their private channel.

“I should have known better,” she said. “It’s the same ship; I know it is. They’ve been following me all over the fucking galaxy. I shouldn’t have left them alone; left them defenseless. I should have left some of the team there.”

“Maybe,” Garrus agreed. “But maybe they’d have been taken too. And then you wouldn’t have a full team to get the crew back. We’ll get them back, Shepard.”

“I have control.” EDI’s voice interrupted any response Danice may have had. Everyone in the shuttle waited in tense silence for what felt like hours. “Purge is complete. No other life forms on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors.”

“Send a message to Shepard’s shuttle. Tell her what happened.” Joker’s voice was laced with pain. He was hurt.

“I have had Shepard patched into our feed since you left the cockpit and will be intercepting her shuttle in ninety-three seconds.” EDI paused. “Are you okay?”

A long pause followed.

“No. But thanks for asking.”

 

Danica didn’t even wait for the door to open all the way before she dove through, turning sideways to fit through the gap.

“Joker!” she shouted.

“I’m here.’ HIs voice answered weekly from the CIC. Danica ran towards the pilot’s voice to find him slumped in one of the chairs by the navigation panel.. He had a bruise blooming on his cheek and was clutching an arm close to his chest like it was broken. Danica knelt down in front of him, hands resting on this arm of the chair.

“You’re hurt,” she said. Joker snorted but his eyes lacked their usual brightness.

“I’ve had worse,” he said with a grimace.

“Okay, well, let’s get you to….” She stopped, heart dropping. Joker just shook his head.

“They got Doc,” he said, his voice tight. “They got everyone, Shep. Everyone.”

Danica dropped her head and let it hang there for a moment, Joker’s knees only inch away. They’d caught her again - boarded her ship, taken her crew. But they didn't get her last time and they wouldn't get her this time. She looked back up at Joker who was watching her carefully.

“Then we get them back,” she said. A slow smile spread across Joker’s face. “We get them back.”

“Yeah we do,” Joker agreed, moving to sit up, then groaned and leaned back. Danica stood up and turned to see her team watching her and Joker’s interaction closely.

“Mordin, you’re Doc for now,” she said, watching them all straighten to attention as she started handing out orders. “Jacob, help get Joker down to med bay and then I need you in engineering with Tali. Jack, I need you at the helm. Zaeed and Wrex, weapons. Miranda, Thane, and Samara - I need you to go over the mission plan. Garrus, I need you and Legion to make sure all ship weapons are calibrated and ready to go. I have a feeling we’ll need them. I’m getting in touch with T’Soni to see if she has any useful information for us. Check in with me when your assignments are completed.”

A chorus of “Yes, Ma’ams” echoed through the ship - the terribly empty ship. Shepard pushed the thought away as she caught Garrus’ gaze. Even across the roo,m she could hear the soft, comforting purr of his subvocals. It wrapped around her like a warm blanket on a cool day.

She’d have to make sure she thanked Miranda for the upgraded hearing.


	3. Garrus

“So it’s tonight then?” 

Even though Garrus knew he’d kept the call on his earpiece, his nerves made it feel as though T’Soni’s voice echoed off the walls of the battery; like everyone on the ship would hear. Not that there were that many sets of ears at the moment.

“I...I think so.” Garrus ran a hand over his brow plate. “I mean, we talked about the last night before the big mission, but it was not supposed to be like this.”

Shepard had recovered quickly in the CIC. He had never seen her look so defeated as she had at the moment she hung her head to Joker’s knee. But she’d pulled herself together; got them moving quickly like she always did. But he knew she was hurting - deeply. Maybe she didn’t want to do this now. Maybe it was all too much.

“We’re are war, Garrus. Even if most of the galaxy doesn’t know it yet,” T’Soni said softly. “There is never going to be a perfect time.”

“Yeah.” Garrus nodded before he remembered she’d couldn’t see him. “Yeah. I’ll ask her, just to be sure, but you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” his friend retorted far too quickly. Garrus snorted. 

“Thanks, T’Soni,” he said, tapping out a final command into the battery systems. “I gotta go report in.”

“Good luck….in both missions.”

The line went silent and Garrus made his way to the elevator to report in at CIC. He went over the list he had made weeks ago, mentally checking off things as they scrolled by on his visor - wine; music; healing aloe in case of chaffing; allergy doses in case of allergic reacting (even if Mordin had assured him they would both be fine). He’d done research and kept it off his search history, thanks to T’Soni. No need for Cerberus to butt there heads into this. He was ready. Spirits, he was ready. He just had to make sure she was after everything that had happened today.

She was pacing back and forth by Chambers’ desk when he got to CIC. Miranda, Joker, and Jacob watched her.

“Was it the same ship?” Shepard asked. 

“The signature matches,” Miranda confirmed, her voice just a bit softer than usual. The woman was far from the hard, dedicated Cerberus agent Garrus had first met. She was Shepard’s friend now and she too could tell the Commander was hurting. 

“How in the hell did they find me this time?” Shepard muttered

“EDI said it was the IFF,” Joker said. “It transmitted our location once it was installed. Scans missed it because it didn’t broadcast until after we turned it on.”

Shepard’s head snapped around to look at Miranda, who immediately shook her head. 

“It wasn’t him,” she said firmly.

“I’m with Miranda on this one,” Jacob agreed. “It doesn’t make sense. This is the whole reason for Project Lazarus. The Illusive Man wouldn’t put that in jeopardy - not when we’re so close.”

“Vakarian?” She didn’t look at him and he had no idea how she even knew he was there. Maybe his subvocals were getting out of control again.

“They’re probably right,” he said, approaching and leaning against the wall where she would pass close by on her pacing path. “HIs last move was carefully calculated - cold, sneaky, dickish - but calculated. Putting all this at risk now just doesn’t make sense. 

Shepard nodded. 

“Battery?”

“Everything is locked and loaded,” he confirmed. Another nod as she passed in front of him. A whiff of vanilla and brown sugar hit his nostrils and a low purr slipped from him before he could catch it. 

Joker stood up. 

“I’m gonna go back to the helm before Jack hijacks the ship and takes us somewhere no one wants to be.”

“Like hell you are,” Shepard snapped, stopping her pacing. “You’re going to bed like Mordin ordered.”

“Shepard,” Joker protested.

“No.”

“I’ll sleep in the cockpit,” he offered. 

“You’ll sleep in your bunk.”

“Shepard, I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not!” Shepard shouted. Everyone froze. Garrus relaxed control of his sub vocals, hoping his hum would help calm her but she didn’t seem to notice. “We’re all leaving this ship again in less than twelve hours and I cannot leave you here, by yourself - again - unless I know that you are fully rested and ready to take care of yourself if the need arises. So you will go to the crew quarters, you will sleep in your bunk, and you will not report to the cockpit until 0600 tomorrow. Am I clear, Helmsman?”

Carrus had never heard anyone address Joker by his rank. He hadn’t even known what it was until this moment. Miranda and Jacob watched in shock while Joker held the Commander’s gaze for several long moments before nodding his head. 

“Aye, Commander,” he said. In silence, Jacob helped Joker up and to the elevator. Miranda hesitated a moment, looking like she wanted to say something then changed her mind, before slipping into her office without a word. When they were gone, Shepard sighed. 

“I’m going to have to apologize for that, aren’t I?” She asked. Garrus pushed himself off the wall. 

“As a commander, no,” He stopped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. “As a friend, maybe. Joker will be fine. He gets it - or he will. I’m more worried about you. Today was...rough.”

Shepard signed again and dropped her head, resting her forehead against his chest. Garrus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. 

“I was so scared he was going to die,” Shepard whispered. “Alone and scared. That stupid, brittle idiot didn’t even grab his sidearm. How many times have I told him to keep it on him? Just in case?”

“He’s tougher than he looks,” Garrus assured her. “Maybe not smarter, but definitely tougher.”

Shepard snorted a laugh and pulled back.

“I know you’re right, I just….” She trailed off, shaking her head.

“Besides, now that he’s let EDI take the ship, our Overlord prank will be so much better.”

The joke had its intended effect. Shepard dropped her head back and laughed out loud. Garrus couldn’t stop a happy purr from rumbling in his throat. He loved it when she laughed. Shepard looked up at him, eyes dancing. 

“What woud I do without you?” She asked, her voice surprisingly soft. 

“Well, the lat time we did that you were dead for two years,” he replied, emotion creeping into what was meant to be more of a joke. “So I don’t plan on trying it out again anytime soon.”

Shepard bit her lip, her eyes flickering over his face. 

“Give me thirty minutes to shower and then meet me in my cabin?” 

Garrus fought to keep his subvocals from going nuts. 

“Yeah,” he managed to respond, his tone low and rumbly. There was a flash of desire in her eyes and then he could smell it on her. Spirits, if that was all it took…

He stepped away before his control slipped and she smirked at him like she knew exactly what she was doing to him and then headed for the elevator. Garrus watched her go, gathering himself before hurrying back to the battery to get ready. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than just blowing off steam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, I just realized that I somehow skipped this chapter in my posting! My bad, yo!
> 
> Hopefully, this piece of the series will make much more sense now that it has all parts!

She ran a hand through her wet hair, shaking it just a bit so the soft waves would work themselves loose. Garrus would be here any minute. She’d been expecting nerves, some anxiety, but she just felt - right about this. As though it were perfectly natural that she was waiting for him to come up so they could have sex. 

Danica squeezed the only hair product she owned on her hands and worked it through the dark brown hair do it didn’t frizz out. It was getting long. Really long. She’d woken up with is past her shoulder blades - longer than she’d worn it since she was a kid. It had never seemed important to trim it with so many other things going on. Now it was hanging down to the middle of her back and she kind of liked it. 

She dressed in black shorts and a white N7 tank top over a plain black bra. She’d been gauging Garrus’ reaction to her clothes for weeks now. The black dress had been an option but he couldn’t take her eyes off her when she was in her workout gear. Besides, this way she didn’t have to get all made up to just to get all undone shortly. And undone she planned to be. 

She’d done her research. With the help of Liara, she’d gathered the information she wanted without Cerberus being able to track it. Having the Shadow Broker as a friend was proving beneficial for both her professional and personal life. The videos had been - enlightening. It had taken a few times to get used to the human-turian porn, the terrible acting, and worse plots. Then a little longer to learn, analyze, and understand what Turians liked and how they could fit with humans. And then she’d begun to enjoy it. Turians were sexy. They were rough and growled and primal. Just like Samara had said. God, she hoped Garrus was like that. 

She’d had Mordin test her and Garrus after he told her not to ingest. The salarian had given her the all clear but suggested she get some allergy doses available - just in case. He assured her that Garrus would be fine as well.

She heard the door to her cabin hiss open. He was here. 

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Garrus stood in front of the fish tank, wine bottle in hand. He was dressed in civilian clothes and that was enough to make heat start to coil in her gut. It cut so much closer to his body than armor making him look all trim and predatory. When he looked at her, his mandibles flapped nervously and Danica could barely make out the brief twitter in his subvocals. He was worried.

“Hey,” he said, his voice a bit tighter than normal. His eyes ran over her body. “I, ah, brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante’s salary.”

Then he frantically pushed a button on the interface for the cabin and club music started pouring through the speakers. It was horrible and Danica barely kept her laugh in. Garrus’ nervous chirping got louder even though she could tell he was trying to keep it quiet. She walked toward him. She needed to calm him down. 

“If, ah, if you were a turian, I’d be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So your...hair...looks good and your waist is...very supportive.”

Trying to hide her face, Danica leaned over and turned off the music. 

“Spirits,” Garrus sighed. “This is not what I had planned.”

When Danica turned back to him, his shoulders were slumped with defeat; his head hanging.

“Consider me seduced, smooth-talker,” she said. Garrus’ eyes flickered back up to hers and he huffed a laugh. But he dropped his eyes again. “Garrus.”

She grasped the hand not holding the wine. He squeezed it gently and heaved a sigh. 

“I didn’t intend to get so serious. I just...I’ve seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis. I want something to right, just once. Just…”

His voice trailed off. Danica’s heart ached at the sadness in his words. She stepped into his space and lifted her hand to his scarred mandible. As she traced her fingers over the still healing scars, Garrus leaned into her touch. Danica tilted her head forward and watched his eyes flutter closed as he tipped his forward to meet her. When their foreheads touched, he let out a long breath. 

She felt him relax into her and treasured it. So often, he was the one supporting her. It was nice to be there for him now. HIs hand traced its way up her arm. It was ungloved and the rough pad on her skin made her shiver. 

“If there is one thing I know for sure in this universe, it’s that you and I together is right. Shepard and Vakarian.” Danica kept her voice smooth and even. Garrus’ eyes met her again, the hand on her arm sliding around her waist and pulling her against him. In his civies, she could feel his body heat for the first time. It was glorious. She pressed herself closer.

“Shepard and Vakarian,” he echoed with a low, rumbly voice. It made her shiver and she knew he felt it when his mandibles flickered into a Turian smile. When his mouth plates pressed against her lips, Danica arched into him. His tongue tangled with hers and she moaned. 

When he pulled away, they were both breathless. The heat in his eyes made her shudder with want. 

“How upset will you be if we skip the wine for now?” She asked. 

“Forget the wine,” Garrus answered hurriedly. “We can skip it forever if you want.”

“Good.” She took the bottle from him and went to go put it on the shelf over her desk. But when she began to turn back around, Garrus was behind her, pressed to her back. Danica’s breath left her lungs in a rush when his hands settled on her waist. She angled herself just a bit so his keel didn’t dig into her. And then she leaned back against him, reveling in the feeling of his hands on her skin. 

He traced along the waistband of her shorts, dipping low but never quite touching her where she wanted it most. Trembling under his touch, she reached up and back, searching for his fringe. When she found it, she pressed her fingers underneath it and rubbed. The groan that erupted from him vibrated through her body. 

“You did your research,” he said, his breath tickling her neck when he nibbled and licked her skin. 

“So much research,” Danica admitted breathlessly. Garrus chuckled low and deep. 

“Good,” he said against her ear. “So did I. I’ve been planning what I would do to you for weeks.”

His hand finally slipped all the way into her shorts and his finger ran along her slit. When he found her clit, her knees almost buckled. But his light was almost too light - as though he was afraid of hurting her.

“Harder,” she whispered and he complied immediately. Danica whimpered shamelessly, digging her fingers into the hide under his fringe to steady herself and dropping her head back against his chest plates. “Oh, god.”

Garrus continued to trail his fingers through her folds, brushing her clit in a steady and agonizingly slow rhythm while his other hand slid up under her bra. He flicked a blunted nail over a nipple and Danica gasped. Garrus’ subvocals were so loud now, she was sure she could have heard them with normal hearing. The vibrations moved through her body like a song. It matched the beat of her pounding heart, her gasps and moans the melody. 

When he slipped a finger into her, she cried out, dropping a hand from his fringe to his cowl, desperately trying to steady herself. He pumped it in and out of her a couple of times, clearly trying to find her spot. Research indeed. Danica head just enough power of thought left to tilt her hips to help him get the right angle. 

Her breath left her and her nails dug into him when he found it. His large fingers and rough hide had her shuddering around him. A contented hum moved through his body. 

“You’re so wet,” he said, running his tongue along the shell of her ear. Danica shuddered again, all the way to her toes. She’d found Garrus attractive for so long but this...this was hotter than anything she could have imagined. Seeing this side of him was doing things to her she had never experienced before.

“Garrus -” Her plea was cut off when he pulled his finger out and then pressed it in again, brushing her spot perfectly. Danica’s cry of pleasure echoed off the walls of her cabin. 

“I’m going to make you come like this.” He bit her shoulder gently. “And then I’m going to take you to the bed and taste you. And then I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll feel it with every movement tomorrow. So that you’ll have a constant reminder of what’s waiting when we make it through. Because I will not lose you again.”

Danica was lost. Her knees buckled but Garrus kept her upright. 

“Oh my god,” she moaned. His dirty talk lit her insides on fire. The desperation in Garrus’ voice made her throat tighten and she clung to him tighter. 

She gave herself over to the sensations - his hand moving inside her, one finger pressed to her clit; the other hand brushing and pulling at her nipples until she shuddered all the way up and down her body; his mandibles flicking and nipping at her neck and shoulders; his long, rough tongue snaking over her skin, making her fantasize about all the things it could do  _ inside _ her.

It felt like ages and just moments had passed when she felt the edge racing toward her. She was so close; so, so close.

“Garrus,” she gasped; pleaded. “Please.”

The tone of his subvocals changed to something she couldn’t recognize; hadn’t heard from him before. It was low and tense and purposeful and cut through her like lightning. It made her feel as though he was claiming her; making her his and she gave willingly. Garrus pressed on her clit, pinched a nipple hard and bit her ear, just enough to sting.

Danica hurtled over the edge.

She screamed, her body tensing and euphoria hit her like a charging krogan. She closed her eyes, lights dancing behind her lids. Garrus growled in her ear, working her until her body went limp. 

He pressed his face into her neck as he pulled out of her and wrapped both arms around her waist. Danica whimpered at the loss of him. It took her a few moments to get any words out. 

”Garrus?”

“Hmmm?”

“Bed.”


	5. Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smutty, smut, smut

It only took the one-word command to remind him of the other things he promised to do to her; things he’d spent weeks planning, even longer thinking about. Having her in his arms like that - shuddering, whimpering, begging - had been intoxicating. Better than he’d ever dared to dream. 

At her command, he bent over, catching her behind the knees with one arm and scooped her up. She didn’t make a noise, but wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to the sensitive skin there. Garrus shivered at the softness and the heat of her kiss. 

He tossed her on the bed, earning a very un-Shepard like squeal of protest followed by a laugh. Garrus stood at the foot of the bed for a moment, just looking at her. She was always beautiful with her dancing eyes and her quick smile, but right now, she was devastating - wavy brown hair splayed out, tank top hiked up to her ribs, her shorts low on her hips, laying there, waiting for him with a smirk on her lips and eyes blown wide with desire. He never wanted to forget this moment. 

She must have gotten impatient while he drank her in because she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off. The muscles of her stomach moved under her skin as she wriggled out of it. Garrus watched, transfixed. He wanted so desperately to touch every inch of her all at the same time and the indecision paralyzed him. He just watched her move up onto her knees and shuffle toward him on the bed; traced her movement and her deft fingers as she undid the clasps on his shirt and then his pants until he was standing naked in front of her.

She must have done her research because she didn’t balk when she saw the plates that covered his member. Instead, she ran her fingers down the seam of his plates, eliciting a moan from him. Her eyes flicked up to his and he groaned again. She was so beautiful. 

Garrus grasped the back of her head and pulled her lips up to his mouth plates. He was learning to enjoy these human kisses - the soft warmth and wetness. Shepard brushed his plates one more time and they slid open. He pulled away from her lips when her small hand wrapped around him, pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. Spirits, it felt so good. Pleasure rolled over him as she moved her hand up and down. 

He allowed himself to enjoy it for a few more moments before he grasped her wrist and pulled it away. When he straightened up and looked down at her, she was breathing heavily, lips turned down in a pout. Danica Shepard was pouting at him. It had no right to be as sexy as it was but a possessive, aroused growl escaped him anyway.

“Later,” he rasped. “I have plans for you.”

He saw her breath catch in her throat; felt her heart rate speed up under the thumb that rested against the pulse point on her neck. She liked that he had plans for her, and he liked that she liked that. 

“Lie down, Danica.”

She shuddered against him before she moved to lay back down, her eyes never leaving his. It took every ounce of discipline he had not to follow her, press her into the mattress and fuck her senseless right then. She knew it too if her smug grin said anything.

When she was on her back, Garrus took a few deep breaths to steady himself. Then he knelt down at her feet and slowly ran his hands up her legs. Danica’s breathing became rough again when he hooked a finger into the top of her shorts and pulled them down. Her scent hit him and it was heavenly. He leaned forward and ran his tongue along her moist lips. 

Shepard arched off the bed, her cry long and raspy. 

“Oh god, Garrus,” she gasped. He hummed happily and did it again, and again until Shepard’s gasps and moans filled the room, her fingers grasped at his head and the sheets desperately. “Stop teasing, Garrus or I swear to god….”

He cut her off by finally sinking his tongue into her. She wailed and pushed her hips against his face. He’d feel smug if his own arousal wasn’t nearly driving him mad. Garrus used his hands to push her legs apart and pin her open and she didn’t fight back. Plunging his tongue in and out of her, Garrus glanced up at her face and groaned at the sight. 

The great Commander Shepard was entirely at his mercy. Arched off the bed, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut, sweat glowing on her skin. He moved a hand down to his cock and rubbed it a few times for some relief. He still had more he wanted to do with her. It was time to end this before he went insane with want. 

Shifting a hand so his thumb could reach her clit, Garrus pulled his tongue out for just a moment. 

“Look at me,” he demanded. Sucking in a deep breath, her eyes opened slowly and locked on his. Then he slid his tongue back in and a shudder racked her body. Eyelids began to flutter closed again but snapped back open when he growled his displeasure. In and out again, he worked her with his tongue and then pressed his finger down on her clit. 

She kept her eyes on him as she came, a high pitched whine escaping from behind her lips, her body clenching and spasming around him. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she attempted to fill her lungs. It was all Garrus could to do to not come at the sight. 

When her body finally relaxed, Garrus moved up her body. She’d let her eyes fall closed again as her breathing evened out. He stretched his body out next to hers and buried his nose in her neck, pulling in the scent of her - vanilla and brown sugar. After a few moments, he rather clumsily removed her bra. She didn’t seem to mind his stumbling, sighing with pleasure as he traced nonsensical designs over the tight skin of her stomach. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said against her neck, making her shiver. Shepard opened one eye and peered at him. Then she leaned over and pressed her warm, soft lips to his faceplates. Her tongue plunged into his mouth and he knew she had to be able to taste herself on him. Something about that was inextricably hot. 

Then, before he knew what was happening, Shepard was on top of him, straddling his lap and grinding her pelvis into his. 

“Oh fuck,” he gasped, grasping her legs and dropping his head back until his fringe hit the headboard. Shepard moaned in agreement and did it again.

“Garrus Vakarian,” Shepard whispered. “The things you do to me...the things you make me feel…”

Her voice trailed off. One hand ran over his scarred mandible again. Her other grasped his cock. Garrus’ breath caught in his throat as he felt her line him up with her entrance.

A groan tore from his throat when she lowered himself onto him. She was hot and tight around him, stretching to accommodate his size. It was absolutely divine. He forced himself to keep his eyes open as she sunk lower; watched her drop her head back and arch her back, her gasps and moans music to his ears.

Garrus let go of her lips and ran his hands up her torso. Her flesh pimpled under his touch; her muscles twitching. She gasped when he teased her nipples.

“Fuck, Garrus, you feel amazing.” Shepard straightened herself and looked at him. Then, with a smirk, she rose up and sank down again. Garrs groaned. And then she did it again. And again. 

“Shep...Shepard,” he gasped. She kept her eyes on him expectantly. “Don’t stop. Spirits, don’t stop.”

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, his world narrowed on her - the feel of her clenching around him, her hot skin under his fingers, the sound of her moans. It took him a moment to recognize the tensing of her body wasn’t intentional; that the hitch in her breath was not pleasure. He opened his eyes to see her head tilted back, her eyes fixed on a window above her bed. 

A low, angry, possessive growl rolled through him before he could stop it. He didn’t know if Cerberus had put it there just to torture her or if it was just an oversight - if no one had thought what looking out at space every morning and night would do to a woman who had died suffocating in the vast, empty expanse. 

He remembered her standing in front of that window, her words echoing in his mind -  _ I used to love the stars. They took that from me too. _

And suddenly he knew what he had to do. Even if this didn’t last; even if Shepard moved on some day; he could do this for her. He could give the stars back to her.

“Danica,” he rumbled. “Look at me.”


	6. Danica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't take the stars from her - not when Garrus has her back.

Garrus’ voice pulled her out of the grip of fear and anxiety. Only to feel embarrassment wash over her. She pulled her eyes away from the window but didn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Instead, she covered her face with her hands and groaned. 

“Oh, Garrus, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything but she could feel the rumble in his chest through her entire body. Reminding her that he was still inside her. While she was having a panic attack. Oh god….

“Stop, Dani.” Large, calloused hands gently grasped her wrists and pulled her hands away from his face. Ice blue eyes met hers - calm, firm, understanding. “Stop beating yourself up. It’s okay.”

Still embarrassed, Danica leaned forward and pressed her face into his chest. The movement made him shift insider her again and send a shiver down her spine.

He should be annoyed - put off at the least - about a woman having a panic attack in the middle of sex. Instead, his strong, warm arms wrapped around her. Filed down talons traced up and down her back for a few long minutes before he spoke again. 

“Look at me, Shepard.” He moved so she could push herself up, forcing herself to make eye contact again. His hands cupped her face, thumbs tracing over her cheekbones. “Do you trust me?”

“More than anyone in the universe,” she whispered without a moment's hesitation. The rumble in his subvocals was a mix of pride, affection, and happiness. Without a word, he lifted her off him and arranged them on the bed so that they were both on their knees. Her back was pressed against his chest again, shifted just to the side to avoid the keel He remained silent for a few moments, working her back up again - patiently, methodically, occasionally grinding his still hard cock against her backside. He nipped at her neck, traced her ear with his tongue, ran talons teasingly down her side, pulled and twisted at her nipples. Finally, he stopped an lined himself up with her entrance again and Danica’s breath caught in her throat.

“Look at the stars” Garrus whispered in her ear and because it was him - despite her fear - she did without question. As her eyes settled on the window, Garrus slid into her again. She almost sobbed when there was no fear gripping her throat; no panic clawing in her chest. There was only pleasure; her skin tingling; Garrus' heat against her back stirring a fire in her veins. His scent filled her - metal, oil, and something a little spicey she’d never been able to place. 

The stars blurred as Garrus began canting his hips, plunging into her over and over again. He nipped at her neck, then laved at the wounds with his tongue. Danica desperately tried to fill her lungs with air as his hand moved over her stomach. A finger circled her navel, making her shiver before the hand moved down to her center. She gasped in anticipation. The other hand slid up between her breasts and slowly, gently wrapped around her neck. 

“Is this okay?” He asked, his voice low and rough. He sounded wrecked and it thrilled her; sent pleasure shooting to her core; that Garrus Vakarian was so affected by her.

“Yes,” she gasped. “Fuck yes, Garrus.”

A low growl vibrated in his chest before he spoke again.

“If it becomes too much, tell me.”

“Promise,” she panted just before he started to squeeze. It was slow and gentle at first. Then he’s rhythm began to pick up and with it the pressure on her windpipe increased. But there was no terror gripping her; no flashbacks to the vacuum in her helmet and her crew’s screams in her ears. There was just her and Garrus - his hips pounding into her, the sound echoing in her cabin, puffs of his air tickling her neck.

“Those stars are yours, Danica Shepard” Garrus growled. “They are yours and no one can take them from you. Not the Collectors; not the Reapers; not anyone. Take them back, Dani. They can’t take them from you.”

A sob did escape her then and she swore she felt tears on her face. The emotion was overwhelming; the pleasure almost too much. In all her life, she’d never understand how she’d been so lucky to find this Turian - find him; befriend him; love him. Garrus’ rhythm began to grow erratic. 

“Say it,” he demanded. “Say it.”

“They can’t take the starts from me,” she gasped. Garrus’ subvocals rumbled in satisfaction and pride; his hips stuttered and he pressed his face into her neck, gasping her name. His grip on her neck tightened until her vision started darkening at the edges. Extacy rolled through her. 

His roar started low in his chest and grew until it rattled through the room. Danica fell over the edge with him, a flood of emotions swirling inside her with pleasure, like a hurricane, her eyes on the stars. 

And she loved them again. They were hers again. He’d given them back to her. Garrus had given her back the stars.


End file.
